You won't like how it ends....

(This post is part of the A Shadow in Doubt, ten years later, read along...)

As we near the end of reliving (via reading) Sam's 2006, there's something I have to tell you. See, when Mom was halfway through her initial read of ASID, I told her she wouldn't like the end. Magic Yoda 8-ball was right. Like it, she did not. 

Despite agreeing with my assessment, to my surprise she said she enjoyed ASID more than TSW. My warning allowed her time to prepare herself, so, she said it was okay I left it that way.  Still, I wondered what other readers - those without the benefit of my warnings - might think....

When Time Travelers Bump into Themselves...

I know there's a good deal of debate about whether or not it would be possible, but, in my world, the Society in the Shadow of Civilization, it happens. More than once.

The first instance in the Society in the Shadow of Civilization is in The Shadow Watcher, when Sam and Michael travel to Costa Rica in search of the Flamella tree. They didn't expect to see anyone except Adjatay - but, they see themselves across a ravine...   

The Novica Christmas Parade

The Christmas Parade was last night, and I missed it! It's not always easy to get down there for these things, especially when I make so many other trips down for family events during the holidays. Hopefully we'll make it next year.

Novica is based on my hometown. It's not an exact replica, though one commonality is the annual Christmas Parade, traditionally held the first Saturday of December. And, because Sam loves her hometown as much I do, and the timing was right, the parade made its way into A Shadow in Doubt. Since I missed out on the festivities this year, I decided I'd share Sam's version of the '06 parade with you....  

I'd rather get some action in the first chapter...

That's not what I meant! But, now that I have your attention....

More Midnight Ramblings

It's actually almost one a.m. here in California, as I start this post, and my mind is wandering away from me again....

Fifteen years ago, somewhere around this time, I would be coming home - either from work or LOML's apartment - and sit up until four or five writing my first (as of yet unpublished) novel/series. It's technically high fantasy, I suppose, and I'm torn between the YA version it currently is, or the Adult version I envision it to be. Now, I really can't focus on much at this hour - but I'm still awake, so I'll blog.

One of my goals for 2015 is to get back to Isiterra. I shared The Tale of the Orbs here several months ago. It was written as part of the back story for what became what I call my Middle Earth. It's actually another planet, in another galaxy far, far away ... (Just kidding ... sort of.) The picture below reminds me of a bad place there....

The orbs, or moons, are the gods of this world - believed to have created life on the shell of another of their kind. No space travel involved, and the inhabitants closely resemble those of Earth, with some slight variations. The different races of "man" are Keepers (human), Siyens (have various powers) and Underdwellers (adapted to live underground but not dwarves, rarely surface, some may have powers resembling a Siyen.) Animals (or crennas) are for the most part the same, but there are some additions, such as the dreaded Kraorack. The "common tongue" spoken by all is English, but there are separate languages I've been creating along the way for each, and dialogue throughout is sprinkled with them. Several words, such as "crenna" are used even in common tongue, because that's what they're called in that world.

The characters live and breathe in my head just as they did then - maybe more so now because I know so much more about them. The map of the world is clearly drawn out in my head - but I've never been able to get it on paper. I'm out of practice with the languages, which I blame in part on the kids for looking at Mommy funny when they walk in on her speaking in Siyen or Northern Underdwellish.  But really, I have to blame Sam and The Shadow Watcher for talking in my ear. Their story didn't require my invention of religions and languages, etc., they're here on Earth.

I did start practicing some Siyen a few weeks ago;"Onae mara ceren senen" - I can save them. I haven't touched the original draft in years - I don't even know what the title is anymore. But, when I last visited it, I decided the beginning needed more character/world building chapters. (Oh, but they're fun, they involve an annual hunting competition, and the heroine nearly gets killed before the real story even begins!) I started them, but still need two more. I think my first NaNoWriMo attempt was the second book, but that is still completely unedited. (I'm actually scared to look at it.) Somewhere, there are outlines for the third and fouth books on paper, but they're in my head too. The most vivid scenes to come to me I've written and tagged for which book and where they belong. They just feel far away right now...

But, A Shadow in Doubt is first. I will have updated release information in the coming weeks. And with that, I'm going to turn in....

I hope you're having a beautiful day, or night, wherever you may be!

Until next time,
Roari

Final Front Cover Art, and First Chapter!

Time is capricious.

Sam's story continues - look for the first chapters on or Writing.com!

New Year's Wishes, ASID Updates and Roari's Resolution(s)

With 2015 just over two hours away here in California, I'm not so much reflecting on this year past as I am looking forward to the one ahead.... For you, dear Reader, I hope for a year full of joy, and many pages of adventures.

My contribution to the amount of aforementioned pages available for your imagination to dwell within was not as plentiful as I'd hoped in 2014, but with A Shadow in Doubt nearly ready, and my untitled-as-of-yet NaNo novel waiting, 2015 looks more promising.

Originally, A Shadow in Doubt, Book Two of Society in the Shadow of Civilization, was to be released this fall - I almost did it, but something wasn't sitting right with me. Then, I had the ah-ha moment, and, well, made a lot of work for myself revising things. Basically, everything is the same, but rearranged, if that makes sense. It doesn't, I know. Sometimes I wish I could time-travel, it would make things easier.

So, when, pray tell, will it be released? That's complicated too....

Why? Because I've decided to try something different this time. If you know what Wattpad is, you're lightyears ahead of me - but I'm there now too. Since I pulled back on ASID, I decided I'm going to release it on Wattpad and Writing.com, chapter by chapter, as I revise, and then release the ebook in February. But, it's New Year's Eve, so I'll post more about that later this week....

Twelve Days - Jayden's account of her time alone with the Society - is also coming to Wattpad and Writing.com in January. (No, I didn't forget about it!)

Lastly, I have two writer resolutions this year. The first one is easy - no more release dates until the release date is absolutely final, promise. The second one kind of scares me - I signed up for Twitter months ago, but have yet to tweet, LOL! So I resolve to figure it out this year, and use it!

Thank you, dearest Reader, for chasing after my dreams with me ... I hope each day of your 2015 is beautiful!

Roari

New story - sneak peek!

It's been a quiet week.  Wasn't feeling too well over the weekend, and it carried over into Wednesday.  I think I feel human again.  

I haven't been entirely unproductive, though.  No, I've been busy.  Well, my delirious little mind has been.  What has my delirious little mind been up to, you ask?  Why, of course, I'd love to share!

Obviously, I knew sending The Shadow Watcher out there all by its little lonesome wasn't going to amount to a massive flow of sales.  I knew this before I wrote it.  Not because I don't believe one day it will, it's just all by itself right now, and needs some company.  Takes me awhile to get a novel right though.  

Oh, but wait!  Remember those side notes I talked about before?  

Yes, well, here's the latest.  Or part of it, anyway.  These short stories I plan on putting out for .99¢, or some for free, to help get more content out there faster.  A Shadow in Doubt is still planned for fall, but Fore Shadowing: Shadows on the Moon will be sooner, I think.  For now, please enjoy this entirely unedited excerpt :)  

08/05/2169 - Moon Colony - Gamma Structure

Paranoia is a mild state, relative to the one in which I lived after we administered the vaccination to the colony. Nearly two weeks have passed since the U.C.E. requested a sample of the compound we used.  I couldn't seem to sleep for more than twenty minutes at a time. At two thirteen a.m., I sat up, feeling someone else was in my room, and saw the shadow pass before the clock.


My heart started pounding. My eyes adjusted to the darkness, and I saw a man, wearing what appeared to be a cloak and glasses, standing near the window to my right.


To my left, a woman whispered, "Samuel, we need to talk."


I wanted to cry out, my father might hear in his quarters next door. But not likely. 


She spoke again, "We mean you no harm, but they're coming."  This time I could see her.  She was wearing glasses too, with tinted lenses. 


I snapped on my bedside lamp. They were both strangers - I'd never seen either of them on the Moon before. I assumed the worst. "The U.C.E. sent you, didn't they."


He answered, "No. But like she said, they're coming."


"What do you want from me? Who are you?"


"The truth is often not expected." She smiled. Her eyes, still visible through the lenses she wore, were familiar to me, like I'd known them my whole life, but I couldn't place it. "We're here to help you. Telling you who we are doesn't help right now.  You'll understand, in time."


"Samuel, you have to escape now, you and anyone who helped you with the vaccine."


The story the lab gave the U.C.E. was they accidentally administered all of the vaccine, and they had not been able to replicate a new batch. Time was running out for them to send something back to the labs on Earth - probably Sky Geneva, otherwise Sky Milan - for testing. They won't replicate a new batch, because they didn't make it. My friends at the lab, Tollack, Voorhia and Marcus took a great risk in helping me distribute a juice from a fruit-bearing tree I created. They called it a vaccine, and when everyone one the moon was cured, we destroyed the rest.


I couldn't let the U.C.E. have the real thing, because then they would know about my project, my tree. We were not surprised when they designated me to the Time Travel project, as the U.C.E. considers it my sibling, my parents its parents. But my true love was bio-chemistry, and I couldn't stay away.


The quest for eternal youth from within, long linked to the fuel we put into our bodies, lead me down this path. It was an answer to a question, a problem I wanted to solve from the time I was a boy and read of quests to find the Fountain of Youth. I had no idea what I was creating, and had not thought of the implications - or possibilities - it truly meant for the future.


The UCE had, and they labeled their quest the Sovereign project. They believed if they could defy the aging process, they could rule the universe. Once they'd spread out to conquer it. Which they would do when they could live long enough to travel far enough to do it. Crazy, right? My father would say that's why he went with science, and not politics.


The man snapped me back to the present.  "Their representatives will be here in less than twenty-four hours. You have to execute your plan, and get the tree out of here now."


I was dubious. The fact that I had only just discovered the healing properties of the fruit a week before patient zero booked his flight for the Moon, and brought the Antarctic flu to our virus free colony, was only too convenient. I made my father eat it the minute he showed symptoms of the Antarctic flu, but within minutes of biting into the core, his hair thickened and darkened, and the wrinkles in his face began to smooth. I shrieked out loud, startling him because it was not a manly sound, and all I could do was point to a mirror across the room. 


The age-reversing effects of the fruit were not as apparent in a cat as they are in a human, but I realized what happened the instant it happened. My experiment was a success. I could save the colony. But I had to conceal it from the U.C.E., because otherwise they would take it from me, before I could even study it. I filled a sack with the fruit, and ran called my friend, who worked at the lab. He was sick too, but when he drank some of the juice from just the flesh of the fruit, he felt fully recovered. His fever was gone. We headed to the lab, and called two more of his associates. I couldn't enter, without record of my being there, so I stayed outside.


"I still don't know if it's a good idea." I went on the assumption they already knew my plan. 

"Going back that far, it poses too many risks."


The man handed me an envelope, "Which is why you'll need this."


"What is it?"


"Instructions."


"For?"


The woman sighed, "How to make it all work."


"From who?"


They looked at each other, moments passing that seemed like hours. Hours I apparently no longer had to waste. I could tell they were weighing the outcome of what they told me. She shook her head, he answered. "My instructions were to deliver you the coordinates you need to set the time machine for, and other notes attached. I think you'll know who they're from when you read them."


I opened the envelope, the contents of which consisted of several aged leaves of paper, scratched and scrawled upon in a hand I knew - unmistakably - was my own. 



And, the rest is coming soon to an e-reader (hopefully) in your hands!  

I hope you're having a beautiful day!
Roari 

Sometimes you just have to listen.

This one is for the woman I met in the bookstore yesterday.  A book triggered her grief, and she needed someone to listen.  I'm glad I was there.

To K-

The sadness was plain in your eyes.

I wondered, "What causes the tears she cries?"

Weary wells, windows of your soul,

They poured it all out.

A stranger, I might walk away,

The choice to stay was just as simple.

Could I not lend my ear? 

You didn't expect me to listen,

Much less respond, sharing in kind.

But, I had to.  Someone did.

You needed a tether to the world,

And I let my own fall away,

That afternoon, I needed to hear what you needed to say.

I didn't have the answers you sought to find,

But, I hope it gave you some small comfort,

Knowing I am just as unknowing.

One thing I've learned about grieving, everyone does it their own way, in their own time.  She thanked me as we parted, for taking the time to listen, but I should be thanking her.  It was a reminder of what is important - how we treat those around us.  We share this world together, for the little time we have on it.  Small acts of kindness cost nothing, and are more rewarding than you think.  When others have shown me kindness, I appreciated it more than they probably know.  I do believe things happen for a reason, even if we never understand why in this life.     

K-, this rose is for your mother.  I hope you and I meet again one day.  Even more, I hope your heart finds peace.

I hope you all have a beautiful day!

Roari

Is there a light at the end of this dark cave I've crawled into?

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like without all of these characters in my head, chattering away, nagging me to let them out.  Quieter?  More organized?  More focused?

Starting out, I just scribbled poems and stories for myself.  It was my therapy of choice.  Then, there was the first main character.  I was only concerned with building her world, at first.  And that world kept getting bigger and bigger....

I spent too many years working too many hours at a job that left me too exhausted to focus on writing, so I feel like I'm way behind in the game.  I've read more articles, essays and blog posts about the craft, the business, the art, the culture, the trends, and the futility of a writing career than I can count.  At some point, it all starts to bleed together into one big sign that screams Do Not Enter.  But those are my favorite places to go!

Despite the seeming pointlessness of trying to write books, fictional novels more specifically, I foolishly decided to listen to the characters who wouldn't stop talking.  Now, there are six distinct worlds in which I write.  But the more time I spend in them, the more I feel like I'm burrowing deeper in a cave.  The world continues to revolve around the sun, and I'm here in another one, trying to give it life.

At any given time or place, a large portion of my mind is somewhere else creating scenes, characters, stories, and sometimes I drift over there.  It's not intentional.  I don't mean to be inattentive.  It's just the embers of a story in my brain never completely go out.  The flames may die down, for months and years at a time, but the characters and their worlds are always with me, smoldering.

Do we all seek a light at the end of the tunnel?  I don't know.  For me, finishing a novel, and going through the process of self-publishing isn't enough.  I don't see a light.  I didn't expect The Shadow Watcher to climb any lists, and it hasn't, because no one knows who I am, or that it exists, really.  Not beyond you, reading my blog, those who've seen posts on Facebook, and family and friends who I've shared it with.  But now that I've gone through the process, I know what to expect, and I'll move through it more quickly with the next book, and the one after that.

All I see are more books that need to be written.  I'll worry about the light later....

I hope you're having a beautiful day!
Roari

I'd rather be in my own little world....

I've been accused of spending more time in one of my own little worlds than the real one.  It's probably true, but not just of being in the worlds of my own creation, I get lost in those of countless other authors and artists as well.  It's an escape from the ugly reality we see on the news, or may even encounter first-hand, every day.

Photo by Alishba Farooqui at Stockvault.net

I can escape into a piece of art, such as the photo above, as easily as a book.  Now that I think about it, various pieces have been inspiration for several of my stories.  Now this, I just saw today, but it could be the flower fields in the valley of Naharran on Isiterra, though there would have to be five moons in the sky.  Really, it's more of a scene out of The Land of All But Forgotten Things.  See the glow of the fairies, waking up in the flowers?  Places like this are what I've dreamed of seeing for as long as I can remember.  Since I can't draw them, I write about them.

The Shadow Watcher is different from from my earlier novel attempts, the landscape looks like your typical Southern California neighborhood.  (If you've seen Roswell, you've seen Novica.)  It's my first novel set in the "real world," and I was intentionally setting out to write something different.  It resulted in my first published novel as well - who knew?

As much as I'm enjoying the endless possibilities here on Earth, I want to hurry up and be done with A Shadow in Doubt already!  Isiterra is calling to me - that world is truly my own, and I've been away too long....

I hope you're having a beautiful day in your corner of the world - or can at least escape to one you prefer!
Roari

The Weight of Time

The Weight of Time

The weight of Time 
presses against my shoulder,
urging me forward, 
on, and on,
toward what end,
I could never imagine,
I only know Time will not wait.


I started that as a post on a poetry blog last May.  I may or may not finish it.  Maybe it is finished.  I don't think so though...   

I was feeling this pressure of time slipping away, like I was missing out on my kid's childhoods, always saying "maybe next year," knowing there are only precious few of those years before they are grown and living their own lives.  (And that I would never finish writing a book.)  We were fortunate at that time to be in a position where I could leave my job to stay home, so I did.  

There is still the pressure of time.  Getting to school.  Getting homework done.  Filling in the holes the dog digs. Editing the sequel to The Shadow Watcher.  It's a different kind of weight, one I don't mind carrying.  Speaking of editing, I'm going to get back to it now...

Enough rambling for one night.  I hope yours is beautiful!

Roari