Midnight Ramble: In the Heat of....

... the hot, sweaty, panting dog days and tortured, sleepless nights of Summer. Now throw some pandemic in there and slap on a mask. It makes for a lousy few months, doesn't it?

I'm sorry, where did my manners go? Good evening, Dear Reader! I hope you'll forgive my moodiness. I only love summer when I'm near water, and this year has been the driest of my entire life. It's been hot too, with no end to the triple digit days in the ten day forecast. I hope things are a little more tolerable where you are.

Midnight Rambling: Inspiration. Motivation. Purpose.

When I start writing a story, I don't think at all about themes. Characters and crazy plots, sure. But, themes? Those work their way into the story along the way. 

There are probably more underlying themes in my Society in the Shadow of Civilization series than even I realize. Some are more subtle than others. Maybe too subtle.

On the surface, it's a roller coaster of emotions following a woman who finds out nothing about her life is what she thought it was, and her journey to finding her place in both the real world, and another time. It's also a tale of time-crossed lovers. But, there's more to it than that.... 

You won't like how it ends....

(This post is part of the A Shadow in Doubt, ten years later, read along...)

As we near the end of reliving (via reading) Sam's 2006, there's something I have to tell you. See, when Mom was halfway through her initial read of ASID, I told her she wouldn't like the end. Magic Yoda 8-ball was right. Like it, she did not. 

Despite agreeing with my assessment, to my surprise she said she enjoyed ASID more than TSW. My warning allowed her time to prepare herself, so, she said it was okay I left it that way.  Still, I wondered what other readers - those without the benefit of my warnings - might think....

To Sum It Up....

It's over. Finally. And, while the outcome may not be what many of us expected, I know we must look forward.

This quote from Cast Away came to mind today, and I thought it particularly appropriate. It sums up my feelings in the wee hours this morning pretty well. Honestly, it sums up my feelings from day one of this election cycle.

Yes, sometimes it does.

"When it rains it pours."

This Morton Salt Girl mug once belonged to my father's mother. I didn't really know her, but I do remember the visit to Chicago when she gave me this mug and its sister, an old locket with my brother's baby pictures in it and a tiny little metal box, which I keep the locket in.

On days, like today, when it seems nothing is going right, I'll drink my green tea from one of the mugs, and remember I'm only here because she persevered through much more difficult times. I'm eternally thankful she did. She raised her four children and two foster children during/post WWII, and could only buy as much salt or sugar as her ration books would allow. Dad also mentioned something about a Victory Garden once.... Anyway, it helps me keep things in perspective.

When it rains, it may pour, but I will always try to find a rainbow after the storm.

I hope you're having a beautiful day, night, or sometime in the between....
~Roari

Calling All Readers! I Need to Know....

In 1978, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers released their second album, You're Gonna Get It! It was a very good year, in my humble, unbiased opinion. Any year we get new Petty is a good year, right?

I could go on for days about my life-long love affair with his music - I can listen to most of his songs in my head, no LP or iPod required. Which (sort of) explains how I Need to Know got stuck in my head this morning. Have a listen so we're on the same page-

Now I'll explain the why....

#SundayLinkParty - Writers Helping Writers

Look at Twitter, Facebook, any social media platform, or anywhere else on the internet, and you'll find hundreds of thousands of writers. One might think we're all extremely social, and perfectly comfortable talking about ourselves and our work. Some of us are, I'm sure, but, not me. I know I'm not the only one.

Writing, in all forms, is a personal process. All writers have their own quirks. Some need music, others need silence. Some need chocolate, others need the rumble in their stomach. Some need coffee, I need Pepsi. It's when the writing is done, when we have to come out of our caves and share our work with the world, many of us struggle with facing our fears.

Midnight (and then some) Ramblings

I'm sitting here, thinking strange things, then thinking I should write a blog post about them, and then I realized my mind can be a very strange place - I'm not sure I should blog about it. (This is not the first time I've had this realization, I just intentionally forget about it every time.)

Tonight's ponderings? Give yourself a high five if you guessed time-travel! Yes, I'm re-weaving threads of time in A Shadow of Doubt, again, which is the cause for delay. Future Sam and Michael made me see the problem in the sequence of events, so I'm using them to help fix it.

But then my mind wandered off (it does that) to a conversation I had with the Love of My Life (or LOML) earlier, which we've had before, and was somewhere in the mess of inspiration behind the Society in the Shadow of Civilization, about the first time travelers (presumably) from the future.

I know, we talk about weird stuff. But, really, if you stop and think on it, eventually, if it is possible, time travel will become reality. So, theoretically, if it is invented in the future, Travelers have already been to the past - or are here among us in the present. Let's just go with the idea it might be possible....

Now, what if the prophets of our past (yours and mine), such as Nostradamus, were, in fact, Travelers from the future who either couldn't get back, never planned to, or for whatever-other-reason stayed where they landed. Well, that would explain how they knew things, wouldn't it?

And yes, we've gone through a Nostradamus phase before - some of his quatrains are just too on to be coincidence, but then there are those that aren't. Ah, but what if things changed because he came back and wrote them? Or other Travelers came back to change those events in an effort to discredit him to future generations?

Or, (potential plot hint) what if someone from the future came back to take the place of one of said prophets, to change the prophecies, or use their power to influence a change over the future. I'm not saying this is part of the U.C.E.'s plan ... but it might be.....

I could keep going, but, it's late. So, on that note, I leave you. (And come back to finish posting the next day, lol!)

I hope you're having a beautiful night, morning or afternoon, wherever you may be!
Roari


(Photos: all-free-download.com)

Sometimes you just have to listen.

This one is for the woman I met in the bookstore yesterday.  A book triggered her grief, and she needed someone to listen.  I'm glad I was there.

To K-

The sadness was plain in your eyes.

I wondered, "What causes the tears she cries?"

Weary wells, windows of your soul,

They poured it all out.

A stranger, I might walk away,

The choice to stay was just as simple.

Could I not lend my ear? 

You didn't expect me to listen,

Much less respond, sharing in kind.

But, I had to.  Someone did.

You needed a tether to the world,

And I let my own fall away,

That afternoon, I needed to hear what you needed to say.

I didn't have the answers you sought to find,

But, I hope it gave you some small comfort,

Knowing I am just as unknowing.

One thing I've learned about grieving, everyone does it their own way, in their own time.  She thanked me as we parted, for taking the time to listen, but I should be thanking her.  It was a reminder of what is important - how we treat those around us.  We share this world together, for the little time we have on it.  Small acts of kindness cost nothing, and are more rewarding than you think.  When others have shown me kindness, I appreciated it more than they probably know.  I do believe things happen for a reason, even if we never understand why in this life.     

K-, this rose is for your mother.  I hope you and I meet again one day.  Even more, I hope your heart finds peace.

I hope you all have a beautiful day!

Roari

Is there a light at the end of this dark cave I've crawled into?

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like without all of these characters in my head, chattering away, nagging me to let them out.  Quieter?  More organized?  More focused?

Starting out, I just scribbled poems and stories for myself.  It was my therapy of choice.  Then, there was the first main character.  I was only concerned with building her world, at first.  And that world kept getting bigger and bigger....

I spent too many years working too many hours at a job that left me too exhausted to focus on writing, so I feel like I'm way behind in the game.  I've read more articles, essays and blog posts about the craft, the business, the art, the culture, the trends, and the futility of a writing career than I can count.  At some point, it all starts to bleed together into one big sign that screams Do Not Enter.  But those are my favorite places to go!

Despite the seeming pointlessness of trying to write books, fictional novels more specifically, I foolishly decided to listen to the characters who wouldn't stop talking.  Now, there are six distinct worlds in which I write.  But the more time I spend in them, the more I feel like I'm burrowing deeper in a cave.  The world continues to revolve around the sun, and I'm here in another one, trying to give it life.

At any given time or place, a large portion of my mind is somewhere else creating scenes, characters, stories, and sometimes I drift over there.  It's not intentional.  I don't mean to be inattentive.  It's just the embers of a story in my brain never completely go out.  The flames may die down, for months and years at a time, but the characters and their worlds are always with me, smoldering.

Do we all seek a light at the end of the tunnel?  I don't know.  For me, finishing a novel, and going through the process of self-publishing isn't enough.  I don't see a light.  I didn't expect The Shadow Watcher to climb any lists, and it hasn't, because no one knows who I am, or that it exists, really.  Not beyond you, reading my blog, those who've seen posts on Facebook, and family and friends who I've shared it with.  But now that I've gone through the process, I know what to expect, and I'll move through it more quickly with the next book, and the one after that.

All I see are more books that need to be written.  I'll worry about the light later....

I hope you're having a beautiful day!
Roari

I'd rather be in my own little world....

I've been accused of spending more time in one of my own little worlds than the real one.  It's probably true, but not just of being in the worlds of my own creation, I get lost in those of countless other authors and artists as well.  It's an escape from the ugly reality we see on the news, or may even encounter first-hand, every day.

Photo by Alishba Farooqui at Stockvault.net

I can escape into a piece of art, such as the photo above, as easily as a book.  Now that I think about it, various pieces have been inspiration for several of my stories.  Now this, I just saw today, but it could be the flower fields in the valley of Naharran on Isiterra, though there would have to be five moons in the sky.  Really, it's more of a scene out of The Land of All But Forgotten Things.  See the glow of the fairies, waking up in the flowers?  Places like this are what I've dreamed of seeing for as long as I can remember.  Since I can't draw them, I write about them.

The Shadow Watcher is different from from my earlier novel attempts, the landscape looks like your typical Southern California neighborhood.  (If you've seen Roswell, you've seen Novica.)  It's my first novel set in the "real world," and I was intentionally setting out to write something different.  It resulted in my first published novel as well - who knew?

As much as I'm enjoying the endless possibilities here on Earth, I want to hurry up and be done with A Shadow in Doubt already!  Isiterra is calling to me - that world is truly my own, and I've been away too long....

I hope you're having a beautiful day in your corner of the world - or can at least escape to one you prefer!
Roari

The Weight of Time

The Weight of Time

The weight of Time 
presses against my shoulder,
urging me forward, 
on, and on,
toward what end,
I could never imagine,
I only know Time will not wait.


I started that as a post on a poetry blog last May.  I may or may not finish it.  Maybe it is finished.  I don't think so though...   

I was feeling this pressure of time slipping away, like I was missing out on my kid's childhoods, always saying "maybe next year," knowing there are only precious few of those years before they are grown and living their own lives.  (And that I would never finish writing a book.)  We were fortunate at that time to be in a position where I could leave my job to stay home, so I did.  

There is still the pressure of time.  Getting to school.  Getting homework done.  Filling in the holes the dog digs. Editing the sequel to The Shadow Watcher.  It's a different kind of weight, one I don't mind carrying.  Speaking of editing, I'm going to get back to it now...

Enough rambling for one night.  I hope yours is beautiful!

Roari